This is humbling as a mom of a two year old walking the path as a “crunchy mom” lol
We live in such a dualistic world. People hold such opposing views, health is the number one most controversial topic to discuss. It’s hard to know what information you can truly trust.
But you detail that we simply don’t have control over everything, regardless of how healthy or not you consider yourself to be.
I'd like you to 'get started' on the toxic mold community because that was a large source of stress for me for a long time. I'm obsessed with this piece and I wrote something similar awhile ago
Thank you so much for posting this Emily. It was very helpful for me - I'm not a mom, but have spent a lot of anxious energy trying to keep up in "crunchy" world. God bless you and your family 💕
I have been pondering on this post for over a week, honestly it has changed my heart in so many ways. I have found myself spending hours researching the best pots and pans and which is the most natural / non toxic product in every single aspect of our lives, whilst this is still a huge value of mine, reading this made me realise how much stress I put myself through doing all of this research and worrying about eating an apple that’s not organic, how much more detrimental that is to my physical and mental health in the long run anyway. I feel like the Lord spoke through your post to me in many other ways, I just had my first baby 5 weeks ago and the birth did not go to plan, it was meant to be a home birth and circumstances changed and I had an emergency c section, I truly felt like I failed my son and I convinced myself I gave him a terrible start to life through our birth, and then I read your post which I believe God showed me that you can do all of the “right” and “healthy” things but sometimes things just don’t go the way you had planned, I realised how much emphasis I put on things that take me out of my present moment experience.
Thank you beyond words for sharing such real, intricate parts of yours and your son’s journey so far. I pray that he’s doing well. God bless you!
I wondered if I should share my revelations and reflections on a public post but hey, I’m sure this is a huge reason as to why you share so vulnerably. Thank you again 🙏
Thank you for writing this and sharing it. It hits way too close to home for me, I nearly cried. I literally stumbled upon it today after googling “crunchy T1D moms”.
I didn’t start living holistically or “crunchy” until well into my 20s, just before becoming a mother for the first time. I certainly haven’t been as “thorough” as you but it’s been a journey and I believed I made as many “right” choices as I could for my first child with the knowledge I had. Now that child (my 4 year old son) was just diagnosed with T1D this past summer. It hasn’t even been 1 year yet and I find myself experiencing exactly what you described: the mental checklist, “what did I do wrong”, “I can cure it”, “maybe he’ll be healed before we get through the honeymoon phase” etc…
But I’m learning so much. The best (and worst? 😅) part of T1D so far is that I feel I’m now fully dependent on trusting the Lord to hold my child’s life day to day. It always was true but now I really know & feel its weight.
Your message is so timely and important for moms to hear. Our parenting choices can’t save us, or our children. Our “perfect” health won’t last forever either. The gospel is our only hope. I long for my son to know Jesus too and be given a new, perfect body in eternity!
Thank you. May the Lord bless you and keep you (& your son!)
Thank you for sharing!! It is so relatable, I remember thinking 14 years ago holding my first born son and thinking, wow no matter what I do I can't clean the air, the streets, he will be subjected to it all and yes I cried... I think every thought you shared is so necessary, everyone assumes and loves to point fingers¡ let's stop pointing fingers and let's hold a hand and let's be kind! It's amazing we have choices!!!
Well said. I do a few crunchy things but I think I’m too lazy to go all in, and some things that the crunchy community encourages just seem weird to me. But I respect all that you did to give your babies a healthy life. For what it’s worth, while I do try to buy mostly organic groceries, I eat fast food, so does my family. My daughter has candy on the regular, and she’s fully vaccinated for her age. And so far she’s totally fine. But it’s like you said there are no guarantees for any of us, regardless of the choices we make. We all do our best in a fallen world.
Thank you for so generously sharing your story! When I had my awakening after 2020 I became so fearful of medicine and anything that wasn’t crunchy or organic. I realized this type of thinking was probably more toxic than the toxins themselves. I aim to live with more balance these days, not fearing all the things we can’t control and not exhausting myself to control everything. Our time here is short and God decides when he’ll take us home. I learned this with my mom instead of living angry speculating a shot took her life, it was when the Lord wanted her home. Appreciate you sharing this!!❤️❤️❤️
Believing that best practices guarantee perfect results is dumb. But that kind of thinking is not overrepresented in the crunchy community. It's everywhere, including anti-crunchy folks.
It's also dumb to think that because best practices do not guarantee perfect outcomes, that means they don't raise your likelihood of good outcomes. They think "controlling" outcomes is all or nothing, and since it's not all, it must be nothing. That kind of thinking is also common in both the crunchy and anti-crunchy communities. And that's unfortunately what I see this essay saying.
People who think in both of those dumb ways often see best practices and lifestyles as some kind of magic warding ritual that's either spot on or totally misguided, and thus morally deserves to be either rewarded or punished. I think it's more accurate to see best practices as limited measures that address a few of the myriad and amoral ways the human body is at risk.
Things can still be worth doing even if they only have partial efficacy or give partial protection. Getting sick with something doesn't mean you weren't lowering your likelihood of other problems.
Hey Julia, I think you’re right. I wasn’t trying to demonstrate that kind of reverse controlling thinking which you mentioned here in my essay - but it was impossible to include all of the factors, thoughts, and values we currently hold important in regards to health and healthy living. I was speaking to the fact that the crunchy community usually does think best practices = perfect outcome and has a really hard time coping when things don’t turn out like they expected.
I still think it’s very worthwhile and important to employ “crunchy” living practices. As I mentioned at the end of my essay, we still live in much the same way.
I was diagnosed at 2, and in my early 20’s latched onto the ‘crunchy lifestyle’ in hopes that it would fix the other symptoms I dealt with and I think as a way of coping, it felt like for the first time in my life I was in charge of my health, and it did heal so much physically. But it took a lot of internal work & letting go of the crunchy title/ removing myself from some of the toxic health/perfection mindset to really help me heal emotionally and to realize I can be healthy, and chronically ill AND have autonomy. Chronic illness is so so hard some days, and some days you don’t even think about how hard it is. I’m a mother now and I understand how precious our health is, and though we do all things ‘right’ it’s a good reminder that we cannot control it all, even when we desperately wish we could raise our children perfectly and healthy.
What a gift it was for me to read your article!! Thank you for sharing so honestly and vulnerably. I am sorry for your suffering as a Mama of a son with T1D. You sound so strong and brave and wise, and your son does too!
We have had a season of a lot of sickness for my 7 year old and it is all things that I keep thinking “shouldn’t” be happening given our healthy lifestyle and choices. As I read your article, I felt God invite me to just open my clenched fists that are trying to do all the right things to make her healthy and, instead and first, LET HIM BE GOD in my life and in hers.
Of course we are going to keep trying to navigate the best balance of healthy choices for her and for our whole family, but I just realized that I can easily fall into a frenetic reliance on myself and my healthy choices as a god before HIM.
Thanks for inspiring surrender and hope and PEACE in my burdened brain and heart tonight. God bless you and your sweet son.
I’ve had to confront this in myself over and over again, in different spheres such as religion and homeschooling. Thank you for sharing your experiences
There but for the grace of God go I. So easy to say but so hard to live. Thank you for sharing such an important lesson. I pray God will forgive me for years of pride in doing all the “right things”. God bless you and your family.
I stumbled upon this randomly, oh goodness I knew what your son had as soon as you started listing his symptoms. My own son was diagnosed in October of 2023 (at 4 years old.) I too had been doing “all the right things” and followed pro metabolic eating like a religion. We were also struggling on many fronts as we were entering the Catholic Church during this time.. so I went around and around in my mind of what I could have done better food wise or maybe this was Gods allowance of this horrific thing to happen because we were coming into the church? I also had friends tell me it was because I poisoned his pancreas with too much raw cows milk.. this post is so valuable for mommas like myself. I am slowly learning (after two miscarriages this year) that I do hold all these ideas as a holy grail, fix all, end all and it has been a hard but beautiful lesson. I would love to know how you juggle food with all the background noise in your mind when it comes to his diet. I am still struggling with this.
Wow this was great to read!
This is humbling as a mom of a two year old walking the path as a “crunchy mom” lol
We live in such a dualistic world. People hold such opposing views, health is the number one most controversial topic to discuss. It’s hard to know what information you can truly trust.
But you detail that we simply don’t have control over everything, regardless of how healthy or not you consider yourself to be.
Thank you for sharing! xoxo
I'd like you to 'get started' on the toxic mold community because that was a large source of stress for me for a long time. I'm obsessed with this piece and I wrote something similar awhile ago
Thank you so much for posting this Emily. It was very helpful for me - I'm not a mom, but have spent a lot of anxious energy trying to keep up in "crunchy" world. God bless you and your family 💕
I have been pondering on this post for over a week, honestly it has changed my heart in so many ways. I have found myself spending hours researching the best pots and pans and which is the most natural / non toxic product in every single aspect of our lives, whilst this is still a huge value of mine, reading this made me realise how much stress I put myself through doing all of this research and worrying about eating an apple that’s not organic, how much more detrimental that is to my physical and mental health in the long run anyway. I feel like the Lord spoke through your post to me in many other ways, I just had my first baby 5 weeks ago and the birth did not go to plan, it was meant to be a home birth and circumstances changed and I had an emergency c section, I truly felt like I failed my son and I convinced myself I gave him a terrible start to life through our birth, and then I read your post which I believe God showed me that you can do all of the “right” and “healthy” things but sometimes things just don’t go the way you had planned, I realised how much emphasis I put on things that take me out of my present moment experience.
Thank you beyond words for sharing such real, intricate parts of yours and your son’s journey so far. I pray that he’s doing well. God bless you!
I wondered if I should share my revelations and reflections on a public post but hey, I’m sure this is a huge reason as to why you share so vulnerably. Thank you again 🙏
Thank you for writing this and sharing it. It hits way too close to home for me, I nearly cried. I literally stumbled upon it today after googling “crunchy T1D moms”.
I didn’t start living holistically or “crunchy” until well into my 20s, just before becoming a mother for the first time. I certainly haven’t been as “thorough” as you but it’s been a journey and I believed I made as many “right” choices as I could for my first child with the knowledge I had. Now that child (my 4 year old son) was just diagnosed with T1D this past summer. It hasn’t even been 1 year yet and I find myself experiencing exactly what you described: the mental checklist, “what did I do wrong”, “I can cure it”, “maybe he’ll be healed before we get through the honeymoon phase” etc…
But I’m learning so much. The best (and worst? 😅) part of T1D so far is that I feel I’m now fully dependent on trusting the Lord to hold my child’s life day to day. It always was true but now I really know & feel its weight.
Your message is so timely and important for moms to hear. Our parenting choices can’t save us, or our children. Our “perfect” health won’t last forever either. The gospel is our only hope. I long for my son to know Jesus too and be given a new, perfect body in eternity!
Thank you. May the Lord bless you and keep you (& your son!)
Thank you for your response, Taylor!! I’m glad my essay was meaningful for you!
Thank you for sharing!! It is so relatable, I remember thinking 14 years ago holding my first born son and thinking, wow no matter what I do I can't clean the air, the streets, he will be subjected to it all and yes I cried... I think every thought you shared is so necessary, everyone assumes and loves to point fingers¡ let's stop pointing fingers and let's hold a hand and let's be kind! It's amazing we have choices!!!
Well said. I do a few crunchy things but I think I’m too lazy to go all in, and some things that the crunchy community encourages just seem weird to me. But I respect all that you did to give your babies a healthy life. For what it’s worth, while I do try to buy mostly organic groceries, I eat fast food, so does my family. My daughter has candy on the regular, and she’s fully vaccinated for her age. And so far she’s totally fine. But it’s like you said there are no guarantees for any of us, regardless of the choices we make. We all do our best in a fallen world.
Thank you for so generously sharing your story! When I had my awakening after 2020 I became so fearful of medicine and anything that wasn’t crunchy or organic. I realized this type of thinking was probably more toxic than the toxins themselves. I aim to live with more balance these days, not fearing all the things we can’t control and not exhausting myself to control everything. Our time here is short and God decides when he’ll take us home. I learned this with my mom instead of living angry speculating a shot took her life, it was when the Lord wanted her home. Appreciate you sharing this!!❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for this! It’s a much needed conversation these days.
Believing that best practices guarantee perfect results is dumb. But that kind of thinking is not overrepresented in the crunchy community. It's everywhere, including anti-crunchy folks.
It's also dumb to think that because best practices do not guarantee perfect outcomes, that means they don't raise your likelihood of good outcomes. They think "controlling" outcomes is all or nothing, and since it's not all, it must be nothing. That kind of thinking is also common in both the crunchy and anti-crunchy communities. And that's unfortunately what I see this essay saying.
People who think in both of those dumb ways often see best practices and lifestyles as some kind of magic warding ritual that's either spot on or totally misguided, and thus morally deserves to be either rewarded or punished. I think it's more accurate to see best practices as limited measures that address a few of the myriad and amoral ways the human body is at risk.
Things can still be worth doing even if they only have partial efficacy or give partial protection. Getting sick with something doesn't mean you weren't lowering your likelihood of other problems.
Hey Julia, I think you’re right. I wasn’t trying to demonstrate that kind of reverse controlling thinking which you mentioned here in my essay - but it was impossible to include all of the factors, thoughts, and values we currently hold important in regards to health and healthy living. I was speaking to the fact that the crunchy community usually does think best practices = perfect outcome and has a really hard time coping when things don’t turn out like they expected.
I still think it’s very worthwhile and important to employ “crunchy” living practices. As I mentioned at the end of my essay, we still live in much the same way.
I was diagnosed at 2, and in my early 20’s latched onto the ‘crunchy lifestyle’ in hopes that it would fix the other symptoms I dealt with and I think as a way of coping, it felt like for the first time in my life I was in charge of my health, and it did heal so much physically. But it took a lot of internal work & letting go of the crunchy title/ removing myself from some of the toxic health/perfection mindset to really help me heal emotionally and to realize I can be healthy, and chronically ill AND have autonomy. Chronic illness is so so hard some days, and some days you don’t even think about how hard it is. I’m a mother now and I understand how precious our health is, and though we do all things ‘right’ it’s a good reminder that we cannot control it all, even when we desperately wish we could raise our children perfectly and healthy.
What a gift it was for me to read your article!! Thank you for sharing so honestly and vulnerably. I am sorry for your suffering as a Mama of a son with T1D. You sound so strong and brave and wise, and your son does too!
We have had a season of a lot of sickness for my 7 year old and it is all things that I keep thinking “shouldn’t” be happening given our healthy lifestyle and choices. As I read your article, I felt God invite me to just open my clenched fists that are trying to do all the right things to make her healthy and, instead and first, LET HIM BE GOD in my life and in hers.
Of course we are going to keep trying to navigate the best balance of healthy choices for her and for our whole family, but I just realized that I can easily fall into a frenetic reliance on myself and my healthy choices as a god before HIM.
Thanks for inspiring surrender and hope and PEACE in my burdened brain and heart tonight. God bless you and your sweet son.
I’ve had to confront this in myself over and over again, in different spheres such as religion and homeschooling. Thank you for sharing your experiences
There but for the grace of God go I. So easy to say but so hard to live. Thank you for sharing such an important lesson. I pray God will forgive me for years of pride in doing all the “right things”. God bless you and your family.
I stumbled upon this randomly, oh goodness I knew what your son had as soon as you started listing his symptoms. My own son was diagnosed in October of 2023 (at 4 years old.) I too had been doing “all the right things” and followed pro metabolic eating like a religion. We were also struggling on many fronts as we were entering the Catholic Church during this time.. so I went around and around in my mind of what I could have done better food wise or maybe this was Gods allowance of this horrific thing to happen because we were coming into the church? I also had friends tell me it was because I poisoned his pancreas with too much raw cows milk.. this post is so valuable for mommas like myself. I am slowly learning (after two miscarriages this year) that I do hold all these ideas as a holy grail, fix all, end all and it has been a hard but beautiful lesson. I would love to know how you juggle food with all the background noise in your mind when it comes to his diet. I am still struggling with this.
so good!!