Ohhh I love this! I often find myself dabbling in thoughts of “am I don’t my son a disservice” by not taking him to 5 different extracurricular activities a week and leading a slow, home centred life. This bought me back to the truth of how absolutely in service I am to preserving this short slice of childhood— by continuously working through the discomforts and “should do’s” that arise as a stay at home mum. Our home life (in my opinion) is our foundation and what could possibly be more important or pressing than that?
I'm no mother, but my wife is, and has been staying home for the last year or so. As someone who's life has only improved in that time, I can vouch for the importance of seeing my wife find the balance of mother, teacher, and guide through this world - especially in this age of technology and ruined attention spans (of which I am both a victim and perpetrator).
It was a minor thought within your post, but "dying to oneself" is something my wife and have both seen the value in lately, and have embraced (as much as one can embrace the pain of sacrifice). That sacrifice has made a world of difference in our lives and our children's; it's both amazing and depressing (again, because of the age we life in) how much children yearn for the attention of their parents, and how positively responsive they are when it's received. What parents perceive as an annoyance or a straw breaking their proverbial back can be nothing short of magic to their children.
Hi Your Book looks good, I have written an Amazing, Uplifting, Inspiring, Different kind of Childrens Book- trying to get it out there, New to the Book world, here is Link to My Website with My Book on there, Thanx https://malachibrooks.co.uk/
This is wonderful and something I’m so glad I found. My 3yr old is so happy to be a family member and help with household duties. My question is do your or any other readers have advice for moms who work from home part time?
Our family needs the extra income. It’s about 20 hours a week.
Currently my daughter goes to preschool so I can work. Honestly, at first I was so excited to have some “me time” to work. But lately I’ve been feeling this nag on my heart and cry multiple times a week. There has to be another way.
Every time I do try to do computer work for my job when she’s home it’s a huge disaster. Epic meltdowns.
Anyone else in a similar boat? Any tips or advice? ❤️
Yes... first of all, right there with you. We pulled our daughter from preschool and kept her home for an extra 2 years. Now, we do a hybrid program and her brothers (4 and 2) are home with me, or the nanny. For us, having them in our home was the highest priority during this season. So we found someone we love (after some trial and error). I moved my in-person office to 2 minutes away, and work from home 3 days a week (from my office she-shed). I love being able to pop home and say "hi"... I also love having an extra set of hands with the kiddos, cleaning, and doing laundry, so that my hours with them can look a little more fun and less productive.
That sounds really hard, I’m sorry. I do not work in a traditional sense so I’m afraid I don’t have any personal advice. I guess if it was me, I would try and do most of my work while my child was sleeping so I could devote my attention to them during the day. Of course that depends on whether you can choose your own hours. Maybe 1 hr during nap time, 1 hr using screens for the child, 2 hrs in the evenings or early morning? Im sorry if that’s not much help. I hope you’re able to find a workable solution for your family.
I needed to read this right now. I’ve been feeling so lost and confused about ‘how to do this life’ with my sweet children. You’ve given me some hope and a guide forward today.
In the past, articles like this would have made me lean back, dismissing stay at home motherhood as not for me. My work is who I am. It’s how I choose to spend all my free time. But writing is a solitary, personal pursuit where I go to be an individual. I cannot take the dyad with me. And yet stay at home motherhood is for all of us. We all have to come home sometime, and I don’t want to miss my son’s childhood because I was lost in books. So thank you Emily, I’ll check out some of the titles you mention here in the hope I can grow to be at ease in both places, work and home.
I really liked this! I’ve been struggling a lot lately with “what to do with my son”. He’s 4 and has autism so sometimes asking him to help with things around the house, he gets very frustrated with because to him it seems like a demand. Which in turn makes me feel like I need to just sit and entertain and play all day every single day, which is so exhausting. So this is a great reminder that I don’t need to do that and he can just join in on whatever I’m doing, if he’s doesn’t want too then he’s more than capable of playing independently. It can get a bit tough as we’re in a small apartment, so we get a bit stir crazy but I’ll definitely be keeping this in mind!
Amen. When my children were small, this is what I struggled to learn. It is worth it to learn how to be with your children and grow together as a family. I think you are spot on to say that we need to cultivate those creative lives for ourselves and then involve our children. We are raised in systems and need to relearn how to live in families and communities.
I'm sorry I'm only just seeing your comment now. Reading any historical fiction (or nonfiction) featuring housewives pre-WW2 has been helpful for me. Little House on the Prairie (taken with a huge grain of salt), Wendell Berry, even Betsy-Tacy.
Thank you for this! It sure brings back memories from my childhood...learning to bake simple treats, what a clean laundry room looks like, and how great it felt to be able to do it myself, how to hang clothes on the line...all the things my mom did (and taught me) with such enthusiasm! As a mother of 5 myself, some of the fun I had with preschool kids was to teach them to wash the floor like Pippi Longstocking...with rags under our feet (to be accurate, she used scrub brushes!), and water poured out on the floor! We all loved doing it, and presto, the floors were clean! Good memories, and now as a grandma, I get to teach another crop of kiddos the same fun stuff! My home has never been picture-perfect clean, but it's (fairly) tidy and (most importantly) comfortable!
I love this so very much! I will probably start doing some flash cards with our kids at that age *if* they seem ready, but heartily agree that it's a time to live a life balanced between work and play. There are so many chores children can start helping with once they are walking. These chores, too, can keep them from doing things that are naughty. My siblings and I never scribbled on any walls, for instance, because from a young age our mom kept us busy if we seemed bored by handing us a damp rag and telling us to wash the walls or cabinets as far as we could reach. Perhaps we didn't get things very clean, but we certainly weren't creating much chaos and were helping keep things caught up at least. And we were learning responsibility!
My favorite read
On Substack so far… no lie 💚
Ohhh I love this! I often find myself dabbling in thoughts of “am I don’t my son a disservice” by not taking him to 5 different extracurricular activities a week and leading a slow, home centred life. This bought me back to the truth of how absolutely in service I am to preserving this short slice of childhood— by continuously working through the discomforts and “should do’s” that arise as a stay at home mum. Our home life (in my opinion) is our foundation and what could possibly be more important or pressing than that?
I'm no mother, but my wife is, and has been staying home for the last year or so. As someone who's life has only improved in that time, I can vouch for the importance of seeing my wife find the balance of mother, teacher, and guide through this world - especially in this age of technology and ruined attention spans (of which I am both a victim and perpetrator).
It was a minor thought within your post, but "dying to oneself" is something my wife and have both seen the value in lately, and have embraced (as much as one can embrace the pain of sacrifice). That sacrifice has made a world of difference in our lives and our children's; it's both amazing and depressing (again, because of the age we life in) how much children yearn for the attention of their parents, and how positively responsive they are when it's received. What parents perceive as an annoyance or a straw breaking their proverbial back can be nothing short of magic to their children.
Hi Your Book looks good, I have written an Amazing, Uplifting, Inspiring, Different kind of Childrens Book- trying to get it out there, New to the Book world, here is Link to My Website with My Book on there, Thanx https://malachibrooks.co.uk/
This is wonderful and something I’m so glad I found. My 3yr old is so happy to be a family member and help with household duties. My question is do your or any other readers have advice for moms who work from home part time?
Our family needs the extra income. It’s about 20 hours a week.
Currently my daughter goes to preschool so I can work. Honestly, at first I was so excited to have some “me time” to work. But lately I’ve been feeling this nag on my heart and cry multiple times a week. There has to be another way.
Every time I do try to do computer work for my job when she’s home it’s a huge disaster. Epic meltdowns.
Anyone else in a similar boat? Any tips or advice? ❤️
Yes... first of all, right there with you. We pulled our daughter from preschool and kept her home for an extra 2 years. Now, we do a hybrid program and her brothers (4 and 2) are home with me, or the nanny. For us, having them in our home was the highest priority during this season. So we found someone we love (after some trial and error). I moved my in-person office to 2 minutes away, and work from home 3 days a week (from my office she-shed). I love being able to pop home and say "hi"... I also love having an extra set of hands with the kiddos, cleaning, and doing laundry, so that my hours with them can look a little more fun and less productive.
That sounds really hard, I’m sorry. I do not work in a traditional sense so I’m afraid I don’t have any personal advice. I guess if it was me, I would try and do most of my work while my child was sleeping so I could devote my attention to them during the day. Of course that depends on whether you can choose your own hours. Maybe 1 hr during nap time, 1 hr using screens for the child, 2 hrs in the evenings or early morning? Im sorry if that’s not much help. I hope you’re able to find a workable solution for your family.
I needed to read this right now. I’ve been feeling so lost and confused about ‘how to do this life’ with my sweet children. You’ve given me some hope and a guide forward today.
In the past, articles like this would have made me lean back, dismissing stay at home motherhood as not for me. My work is who I am. It’s how I choose to spend all my free time. But writing is a solitary, personal pursuit where I go to be an individual. I cannot take the dyad with me. And yet stay at home motherhood is for all of us. We all have to come home sometime, and I don’t want to miss my son’s childhood because I was lost in books. So thank you Emily, I’ll check out some of the titles you mention here in the hope I can grow to be at ease in both places, work and home.
I really liked this! I’ve been struggling a lot lately with “what to do with my son”. He’s 4 and has autism so sometimes asking him to help with things around the house, he gets very frustrated with because to him it seems like a demand. Which in turn makes me feel like I need to just sit and entertain and play all day every single day, which is so exhausting. So this is a great reminder that I don’t need to do that and he can just join in on whatever I’m doing, if he’s doesn’t want too then he’s more than capable of playing independently. It can get a bit tough as we’re in a small apartment, so we get a bit stir crazy but I’ll definitely be keeping this in mind!
Thank you for this! I was just bemoaning to my husband last night that I hoped I was “doing enough” with my toddler and baby daily.
This is so helpful and wise. Thank you!
Amen. When my children were small, this is what I struggled to learn. It is worth it to learn how to be with your children and grow together as a family. I think you are spot on to say that we need to cultivate those creative lives for ourselves and then involve our children. We are raised in systems and need to relearn how to live in families and communities.
Well saidddddd
Beautiful! Young kids need to live life with their mom, accompanying her along her daily tasks. They don't need constant stimulation or entertainment.
Thank you for this! Do you have any suggestions for how to begin acquainting myself with historical examples of housewives at home?
I'm sorry I'm only just seeing your comment now. Reading any historical fiction (or nonfiction) featuring housewives pre-WW2 has been helpful for me. Little House on the Prairie (taken with a huge grain of salt), Wendell Berry, even Betsy-Tacy.
Thank you for this! It sure brings back memories from my childhood...learning to bake simple treats, what a clean laundry room looks like, and how great it felt to be able to do it myself, how to hang clothes on the line...all the things my mom did (and taught me) with such enthusiasm! As a mother of 5 myself, some of the fun I had with preschool kids was to teach them to wash the floor like Pippi Longstocking...with rags under our feet (to be accurate, she used scrub brushes!), and water poured out on the floor! We all loved doing it, and presto, the floors were clean! Good memories, and now as a grandma, I get to teach another crop of kiddos the same fun stuff! My home has never been picture-perfect clean, but it's (fairly) tidy and (most importantly) comfortable!
I love this so very much! I will probably start doing some flash cards with our kids at that age *if* they seem ready, but heartily agree that it's a time to live a life balanced between work and play. There are so many chores children can start helping with once they are walking. These chores, too, can keep them from doing things that are naughty. My siblings and I never scribbled on any walls, for instance, because from a young age our mom kept us busy if we seemed bored by handing us a damp rag and telling us to wash the walls or cabinets as far as we could reach. Perhaps we didn't get things very clean, but we certainly weren't creating much chaos and were helping keep things caught up at least. And we were learning responsibility!